WHEN NOTHING ELSE MATTERS

Monday, June 26, 2006

it's almost 11 already.
i dun feel like sleeping yet.
just feel like blogging and venting all my feelings out here.
feeling very emotional rite now.
feeling so down.

i dun have much friends tat i could pour out my heart and tell them wadever it's in my mind.
the ones i have are busy schooling and working.
everybody is so busy doing their own things.
i actually felt empty deep inside.

haii.
the time tat i needs him the most;
he's not there for me.
receive less than 10 msg from him today.
he's busy with the house warming and now soccer matches with his cousins.
i tried to be the understanding gf.
but i can't help but feeling very lonely.
perhaps being too dependent on him wasn't a very good idea.
ever since i've started working and didn't have the time tat i can spared to accompany him,
we seldom talks on the phone now and the sms we sent each other are very limited.
when i'm sleeping, he's awake;
when he's sleeping, i'm awake.
and till the time when the end of the month is drawing near,
our contact is only when the times he is off duties late at night or at home after a nice sleep.
tat's the time we talk on the phone.
it's very xin ku to be like this all the time.
i've tried to be the good gf.
but it seems tat i'm drifting far apart from the target of being the good gf.
when will we be back like we used to be?
it wun be back again.
sweet times are only for the first 6 months.
quarrels starts occuring for the next 6 months.
the sweet love will den turn to bitter love.
i believe tat hubby and i will never become like tat,
but perhaps tis is one of the obstacle we had to face in our relationship.
and i know hubby and i will overcome these together.

guess there's no point of me ranting here non stop by saying all these bo liao matters.
he wun read my blog.
and i'm glad he never.
i wun wan him to see all these.
loving him is a long term thing tat will never change.
i rem my ex saying tis in his blog when he accused me of a changing heart,
" she did this to me now and it will be your turn one day"

the msg was for my hubby from my ex.
i guess my ex will be wrong tis time.
there will not be a day tat i'll stop loving my hubby.
he let me know wad love is.
he let me know tat i'm important to him.
he let me know tat i'll be very safe with him.
he let me know tat he is the only one i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
he is the one tat i'll never let go of his hand for as long as i live.
he is just so dear and important to me. =)

very mushy right?
i'm feeling really emotional la.
pardon me yeah?

tomolo replacing ting for work.
will be working alone.
luckily the working hours ain't tat long.
only from 8pm to 12pm.
and
hope nth crops up tomolo la.

ciaos.

TEARS BEHIND THAT SMILING FACE.

Amanda shouted @ 10:59 PM