ytd was suppose to be a happy day since it's our birthday girl, ling's birthday.
there's another one joining the 19 year old's club.
btw ling, sorry for not getting you a better present, will make it up for you!
i'm late for like at least 2 hours and damn it, took a cab down which cost me 10 bucks!
watch the robinson with the bunch and though it's a cartoon comedy kind where laughters filled the air,
i didn't laugh a single bit. i just sit there for an hour plus without any expressions.
maybe i've not seen ling all for quite long le so tends to feel a bit awkward and uneasy,
i just dun have the mood to do anything....=(
oh yeah, the guys at the counter looks pretty cute though.
who says attached girls can't have any eye candies, at least to ling and me!
but dear, u are still the one i love. =)


after which we went shopping. i mean, my shopping.
look around for the stupid black pants and white shirts.
nothing really caught my eyes and the prices are really expensive.
luckily i managed to get 2 black pants from metro, all thanks to ling, hel and miao.=)
will be getting my shirts soon with dear say arh next week, tat's wad he promised me.
shit. i'm not prepared to go study, again!

waving goodbyes to ling and miao,
hel, ting and i went to have dinner in century square's food court.
actually plan to walk around before heading home,
but unfortunately something bad happened.
it seems tat hel met her last time de collegue in one of the shop so ting and i walked further up to like let them have a short conversation.
it happens that someone called out to ting, not sure it's hel or the collegue.
as to say, all 3 of them knew each other.
this bloody collegue of theirs exclaimed in a pretty loud voice,
" OH, THAT ONE DEN IT'S TING ARH? I THOUGHT SINCE WHEN TING BECOME SO FAT!!! "
mind you, the person she said fat is ME!!!!!!!!!!!
at first, i heard it and actually dismissed it off, walked back to where they are talking...
feel damn extra standing there when i dunno wad the hell they were talking about,
i walk around looking at shoes and clothes, away from them.
the more i think of it, the more pissed and angry i feels,
being called fat by a complete stranger, a auntie who is FAT as well in a public place where there's shoppers around and in the face of my 2 friends!!!!!!
can't she just fcuking used her fcuking brain to think before she blurt out anything she wants?
can't she talk softly and take a fcuking good look at herself before commenting?
can't she confirm which one is the one she knows before she talks?

i'm a human, made of flesh and blood.
i have emotions and feelings.
just a casual remark, even if you dun fcuking mean it,
be it good or bad, i take them seriously.
and the word " FAT" is super sensative to me.
a casual remark from someone who dun used her bloody brain really pissed me off totally.
like who is she to say tat when she herself is FAT too?
let's say the person is not me, just anybody,
how will the person feels?
naturally it's absolutely normal to be pissed and angry.
the words struck me and the feeling is like as if someone had use a dagger and stab right through my heart.
i feel so bloody hurt...
even if i'm really fat, must she said so clearly?
damn. i'm really unhappy bout this.
i wanna give her one tight slap and a hard punch on her face,
or maybe cut off her tongue so tat she dun get the chance to talk!!!!
it's just a thought, i'm not gonna do it.

it hurts so much tat i cry my heart out on the bus back home.
i have my pride and dignity too.
i didn't talk to ting and hel at all thought it's not their fault.
i show them attitude and ignores them.
how mean have i become?
i apologised to them and everything is fine now.
oh my.. why am i feeling all these?
why do i cry so much nowadays?

the mood swings are terrible. =(

was surprised that dear had baked me a cake for our 21st month anniversary!!!
it was his 1st attempt and it looked pretty good eh?
the top left hand corner of the cake was eaten by me.=p
thanks dear for making an effort, i love it!!!
and of course i love you too, my dear care bear! <3

anyway. my blue black is better,
and the skin had peel off slowly off my neck and forehead.
oh yeah, i almost forgot,
i got scald by the iron around my elbow.
damn, i've got 2 ugly scars tat's gonna be there for as long as i live! =(
and finally, i got all 3 bad things happened to me once and for all.
i'm lucky that they are just minor injuries for god blesses me!





ytd went out with dear and i'm so happy!
it's been quite some time since we last went out.
we decided to catch a movie and i'm touched tat dear still remember tat i wanna watch 200 pounds beauty!
the show was fantastic and i loved it so much la!!!!!
the story was good, the songs were very nice and some of the scenes keeps me laughing!!!!!
can't help but broke down in tears near the end of the show...
it's hard for a show to actually make me in tears...
this show really touches my heart so much....
dear was so mean la, he laughed at me upon seeing me in tears!!!!!!!
in conclusion,
it's a show which you wouldn't want to miss!!!

had dinner with him after the show and decided to return back to around my house area.
everything was okie till he said he need to go back already and it's only like 10 plus!
he were to meet his old friends up to celebrate his last day of a freedom man,
as in because he's getting married today.
perhaps getting too emotional and paranoid,
i actually break down for a second time,
i did not tell dear wad's the cause of it even though he keep asking.
i just sit there and cry.
he called his friends and tell them he's not going over already.
all just because of me.
i feel damn guilty after tat for he sacrifices the time with his secondary buddies and stay with me.
i know he must have feel damn fed up but keep mute to himself.

he tried cheering me up with all kinds of things but i still look very sian.
he had been very patient with me all the while despite my cold attitude to him.
den he asked if i wanna go back.
i didn't say a word den pick up my bag and leave.
i was feeling terrible but i dunno why.
i stopped for a while to wait for him and saw him shaking his head.
i walked alone by myself all the way till i reach my block.
all along he didn't catch up with me.. just walk sliently behind me..
i took out his stuffs from my bag and we just stand there.
he looked really angry and when i thought he's gonna shout at me, he said,
" why you walk away just like tat? wad if i wasn't walking behind you? if something happened to you how?"
tat's when i cried for the 3rd time, this time in his arms.
i feel so safe just by hugging him.
he continued saying: "silly de, i also never scold you or angry with you, why you cry? next time still want to walk away like tat not?
though he didn't say much.. but i know he really cares bout me..

boy, if you happen to read this...
i'm really sorry for being so mean to you last night.
i had no idea wad had become of me..
thanks for tolerating my nonsense,
thanks for being so patient towards me despite my bad temper.
thanks for being so caring though i treat u so mean.
after all, you are still the one i love,
the one i want to spend the rest of my life with.

didn't accompany boy to his friend's wedding cos of my stupid menses!!
damn. it hurts like shit.
wouldn't it be great to get married and start a small family with the one you love?
i'm dreaming of getting married again.....lols.
anyway,
will be meeting ling all tomolo!!!!

ADVANCED HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO MY DARLING LING!!!!


ramdom pictures

there are times when you heard people saying when you are unlucky for the 1st time, there will be 2 more sway things will happen to you, in just a case of major or minor.
i used to think that this is so not true untill it happen to me.

have been working 4 days constant last week.
work was pretty bad cos many things had happened once and for all.
7 collegues got dismissed due to some major mistakes they had made,
they could prevent this from happening but... perhaps it's fate.
have been working in sitel for bout 9 months,
i've seen people leave, i've seen more new faces.
i prefer the time when i first came in.
the laughters, the cheerings when the particular team had a goal,
the people i know back den.. was good.
for now, everything had changed,
not for the better but for the worst.
2 of the shiftleaders will be resigning due to some problems,
almost all the shiftleaders are malays now,
and that maybe there will be some bias in between.
collegues were being so selfish and sickening.
this particular malay gal who sits beside me during 1 of the working days,
supposing 1 order was made by her and there were mistakes.
customer called back saying there's wrong order and it happen to be pick up by me.
got the details correctly and called the restaurant who is in charged.
instructions given by the malay gal is " all cheeseburgers to be plain with pattie only, and she grill the list of unwanted stuffs in the burgers.
restuarant manager said that, cheeseburgers plain is the same as hamburgers.
so i thought perhaps customers didn't said clearly hence there's mistakes.
i called back to cust, informing him of wad the manager told me.
cust insisted that he mentioned that he wants the cheeseburgers plain but with cheese.
i told the malay girl that cust wanted the burgers plain but with cheese and know wad?
that fcuking girl TOLD me to go and check the recordings whether the cust really said tat not and wants meto call back the restuarant manager to inform him!!
WHO IS SHE TO ORDER ME TO DO THINGS WHEN IT'S HER FCUKING JOB TO FIND OUT THE TRUTH INSTEAD OF ME?
i was damn angry yet i can't just sit there and ignore this when she dun care at all!!!
listen to recording and no doubt the customer was right, so i called back and tell the manager regarding wad's happening and request him to send the right burgers to exchange with cust.
cos we have the duty to recover the customer 1st before settling with restuarant later on.
this manager by the name of narin, i dunno he's malay or indian,
told me off in a harsh tone saying," it's not our fault wad, why should we send down the burgers lea?" i explain to him patiently and hope he will understand but i'm totally wrong!!!
he said he wants to speak to my shiftleader but at tat moment all the shiftleaders are in a meeting. so he wants me to get the sl to called him back once they are done and hung up my phone just like tat!!!!
i tell the malay girl everything and i tink most pro she is afriad tat she might get warning letter so she told me she will call the restuarant immediately.
when she puts down the phone 5 mins later, she said everything was okie already.
the manager said he will send the burgers down to the cust, tell her next time dun do this mistake again and tat now the sl dun have to call him back anymore!!!!!!!!!!!
she said the manager tell her all this in a normal soft tone!!!!

if you were me, how would you feel?
1st, the wrong order is not taken by me and i had to check for the agent.
2nd, i have to apologised to cust and restuarant.
3rd, restuarant refused to send the burgers down and insisted on getting the sl to call back.
4th, the agent called back and everything was okie already.

wad is this?
it's fcuking not my problem and why it seems tat i'm the one who took the order wrongly?
i'm just trying to help yet was treated by them like this?
the fcuking manager racist or wad?
and wad's more, he is just 1 fcuking manager among the rest and he is still under jenny.
who is he to act as if he's the boss like tat when he's just nothing?
and that malay agent, why is she ordering me around when she is just another newcomer?
i'm not racist but take a look and reflect wad i've said.
i'm in no wrong at all.

tat's definately not the end.
there's so many i wanted to say but i dun wanna bored you to death.
just 1 last one by a customer and i'm done with the job thing.
this customer called in to order and there's a change in his address.
got his postalcode and asked him to verify his address to me.
it's not hard to say the address rite?
he answer me back," you have the postalcode, you should have the address!"
so i tell him there's a need to verify once there's a new address.
so he tell me his address in a unhappy tone.
took his order which consist a 20 pc nuggets and i tink a burger or a meal.
asked him for the sauces he wants for his nuggets,
he said he wants 10 curry sauces!!!
so i tell him nicely tat there's a condiments policy and can i offered him 5 instead?
know wad he replied?
" wad? last time i called and request for 7 curry 7 sweet & sour they give me lor, i dun need any other sauces just the 10 curry sauces will do wad."
obviously he wants to argue with me,
with no other choices, i gave him wad he wants.
at that time, he is already very unhappy with me from the tone of his voice.
wanted to give him his order no. and the time to food will be reaching,
he hangs up my call immediately?
how fcuking rude is he?
he need 10 curry sauces for fcuk?
2 nuggets need 1 tub of curry, does he mean tat?
so wad if he had a meal, at most 6 or 7 curry will be enough for all!!!
he used the sauces to bath or drink it like water?
can't he talk nicely? operators are also humans like him!

i hate going to work...

there's not the end of my bad encounters.
i had a fall at the stairs of my block and it leaves 2 blue black each on my legs.
ytd i dye my hair and there's stains on my neck and forehead,
mum and sister used tissues dip with water and those japan sponge and scrub the stains,
the stains were clear but they scrub so hard till it's po pi.
it hurts badly and i have troubles bathing and washing my face cos when the wounds touches water or soap, the pain in unbearable!!!!!!
it got slightly better today though but it's ugly...=(

damn. that's how unlucky i have been...
oh ya, i love my black hair now. =D

suppose to meet dear at 1.15pm at my place ytd,
but dear couldn't make it on time because he need to collect his passport.
so around 2pm like tat dear den reach my place and he was fuming with anger.
it was so because the taxi uncle is a money-cheater!!
he puposely go one big round just to reach my place,
when actually by right, he just have to turn right and go all the way straight will do!!!!
so from lavender to hougang, it cost 14 bucks exactly!!!!!
based on my boy's character, he's definately not one who knows the uncle eats his money and quietly paid up.
so yeah, he somehow tick the uncle off by saying something like: " uncle, just now the route turn rite den go straight can reach already wad, you go the longer route for wad, cheat my money arh?" ( and of course there's some vulgar in between which is rude to reveal.=D)
and of course that uncle smart one la... he denied everything off and say,: "no la, that's the only 1 route to go only."
he must have imagine dear being a 3 year old kid.(-_-'')
why can't taxi drivers ( i mean some greedy ones) be more honest?
everyone wants to earn money and there are many ways to do it, but why wanna cheat?
i met a few dishonest taxi uncles before.
for example, from geylang bahru to hougang,
normal rates is around 7 plus while midnight rates at most 8,9 plus.
so these uncles, i dunno where and how they go, but by the time it reaches my place,
it burns a big hole in my pocket. ( heart aches.....)
alright, back to wad i said earlier on,
so dear and i plan to flag a cab down to my sch...
but almost all the cabs are hired or the drivers dun wanna go to our destination!!
my appointment with the sch is 2pm and can you imagine waiting for a cab for 1 hour plus?
we reach the sch which is located around bugis at 3.30pm and the cab fare is $15.
the warm greetings from the consultant really brighten my day a little.
she explain to me the details i'm suppose to know for the course, wad to wear, the time of my course etc..
everything was pretty clear and i'm suppose to wear white long sleeve shirt with either black pants/skirt plus black shoes, lessons starts at 3.30pm to 6.30pm mon to fri.
i've seen some of the students and to my horror,
i didn't see any girls around and the students look like some bangalas and illegal workers, and saw 1 chinese guy, but he's at least a dozen older den me!!!
i thought,oh gosh, am i gonna study with in a class full of bangalas, construction workers and uncles/aunties???
it's not tat i'm againest them or wadever, just tat wad if i were to meet up with some problems and all,
who can help me out? i'm worried tat they wun understand wad i'm talking about...sighs...
anyway, paid a total of $4500 for my hotel and casino managments course,
starting school around 1 months' time, stress!!!!!!!!!!!
it freaks me out. =(
after a simple dinner in bugis, dear suggest fishing at punggol park with his friends.
finally meet them up around 7pm at the park.
i'm pretty thrilled at the thought tat i can catch prawns!
dear's friend, fuxiang prepare the rods, the hooks, the food for the prawns and fishes which is flour+water=dough.
it's only up till yesterday den i know there's a number of stuffs to prepare.
so in conclusion,
fuxiang caught 6 prawns.
edmund caught nothing as he gives up half way through and starts chatting on his hp.
dear and me caught a " eat shit fish" (pls translate to hokkien) and a net.
it's funny tat the rod we used is meant for catching prawns while fuxiang's rod is for catching fishes, yet we caught a " eat shit fish" and fuxiang caught prawns!!!
there were times when dear and i could catch at least some prawns cos we can feel it but when we take out the rod from the pond, the prawns had slip away with the dough!!!
we were there from 7pm to 11pm and it was fun, with stupid jokes and conversations throughout the time like edmund talking to the prawns, dear wanna push me into the pond, the boys throwing dough at each other etc...
i've always thought tat fishing/catching prawns is a very boring and silly thing to do,
and tat why guys like it so much despite they had to spend the whole day there under the hot sun, getting mosqitoes bites and worse, caught nothing at all.
it's a wonderful time to spend some quiet moments there with friends and love ones instead of hanging out in the city and spending hell lots of money.
although i didn't manage to catch any prawns,
i'm happy tat i gain the first hand experience and it's really not as bad as i've think.
looking forward to the next trip! =)

oh ya, before i forget,
there's these bunch of kids fishing over there, i tink they were earlier den us,
they make alot of noise but we think nothing of it as like, which kid ain't playful?
at first edmund all was teasing the kids saying the things were imported from australia, spain and the list of crapping things goes on.
it gets bad when they came to talk to dear all, starting to borrow stuffs and being rude.
i mean really very rude. they start scolding vulgar and become really aggressive.
among the kids, there's this plump one who is really fcuking rude, or i should say a "guai lan" one.
he copys exactly wad fuxiang said and yes, he scold vulgar at dear all.
it's okie to like play play and copy a few times wad ppl said,
but it gets very irritating after some time rite?
this kid really dunno how to write the word dead in chinese,
he's trying hard to get them on their nerves even when fuxiang and edmund had warned him not to get too far.
tat good for nothing kid scolds even more vulgar at dear all, without knowing he had already provoke the one who had been keeping quiet all these while when the kids create chaos, my dear boy.
dear tell the other kids to get the plump boy to come over to our side but tat boy actually had the guts to say: " he want den tell him to come la!"
so dear stare at him and said, " okie, i come!!" and walk over to tat boy's side.
using one hand, he grabbed tat kid's neck and starts to scold him dunno like wad, i saw the kid like in such a pain and gasping for air!
i'm damn stunned for a good 5 secs and faster ask fuxiang to stop dear from hurting tat kid further.
( it's not tat i dun wanna stop him, but dear doesn't listen to me regarding these matters de.)
luckily fuxiang and edmund reach there just on time to stop dear from giving tat 1 hard punch on the kid's face.
people at the park was wondering wad's the commotion was about.
thank god dear had not be so implusive and beat tat kid or else i really had no idea wad the consequences will be!!!

so when i thought all was fine,
tat stupid kid scold vulgar at us while riding a bicycle past, speeding off for his dear life.
fuxiang got angry and throw the plastic bag containing a prawn he had caught earlier on to tat kid but hence it didn't hit the kid due to the far distance and of course, tat prawn was nowhere in sight.
those kids were just merely some 11, 12 years old primary school kids,
i really didn't expect them to scold such things out of their mouth,
and being really rude!!
i wonder this is the way they talks to their parents and elders?
kids nowadays are really a bunch of ignorance rude kids tat obviously need more discipline!!
they just dun understand tat they would get into very deep trouble outside in the society today.
or let's see from the other point of view.
perhaps they thought scolding vulgar is a cool thing and tat ppl will be scare of them?
or perhaps they thought tat scolding vulgar is normal cos almost everywhere u can hear someone scolding vulgar?
or they just want more attention from the ppl around them?
there's alot of possibilities these kids are behaving like tat.
they were ought to teach a lesson before learning to be good.

anyway, pictures will be uploaded after this entry.
work tomolo, sian!!!!!!!!!

didn't go to work again cos i'm still feeling unwell.
it's the first time i need to go back to the doctor for a 2nd time cos normally i'll be alright after the 1st course of med.
instead of earning more money, i spend $28 more..
till now haven fully recovered yet, but had to go work tomolo.
these few days at home was super boring.
i wake up, eat, watch tv, sometimes help my mum mop floor and surf net.
ting all had go to sentosa on tuesday, while i'm staying at home rotting.
oh god, pls ensure tat i'm healthy soon!

just now chat with a online friend.
when i first know him, he is still single.
and now, after some weeks, he had a gf already.
they were together like only 1 month plus..
wad surprise me is tat,
he said they getting married soon!!!
okie, they aren't very young anymore, cos both 23 i tink,
and he said tat his future wife is the best gal he ever know;
and that they are serious with this relationship.
i asked him: " dun you tink it's too fast to like plan to get married??"
he answered me saying: " actually time doesn't matter as long as we are really in love."
he had already propose to her and were planning to tie the knot in aug.
actually to tink of it, wad he said were pretty convincing.
it doesn't mean tat a relationship of 5 years can be compared to a short 1 month relationship.
it's not as if something like, " oh well, i'm gonna married to blah blah in blah blah years."
things will change. surroundings will change. and of course, people changes too.
a 5 years relationship might just go down the drain once the feelings faded or there's some misunderstandings.
a 1 month relationship will make one think tat," hai ya, blah blah and bleh bleh wun last very long lah."
in the end, they plan to get married.
so as to say,
when a relationship is stayed on for too long and hence,
feelings might fade, communications break down, no topics to talk about,
evetually the ending will be " you go your way, i go my way."
okie, even if a relationship had just started,
but if u are finacially stable, love each other alot and you already thought of things like " i wan to be with so and so for the rest of my life" and both are really ready to start a family,
i mean no harm getting married yeah?
even if after marriage you find flaws in your partner,
i believe there's solutions to reslove the problems,
they will still be the lovey dovey pair which make others envious!!
it's hard to build up a family,
but i believe the power of love...
every obstacles ahead will be solve if they had tried to keep the bond going.
anyway. i'm really happy for my friend though,
for he had found the right one who is willing to walk hand in hand with him till they grow old...
isn't tat sweet?

so sian.
have to go work tomolo nad registation to my school on friday.
i'm really studying, no jokes!!!
got to rest already...

till den......=)

suppose to go work today from 2pm to 6pm,