WHEN NOTHING ELSE MATTERS

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

school had tied me down with assignments and exams.
so far completed 2 modules, housekeeping and front office operations.
i passed my housekeeping internal exam le. gt 56 marks!
today just took my front office exam... i'm quite certain i didn't do well...
hope i'm wrong bout this!

anyway, mel studied the same course same school and same time, but not same class with me.
too many things happened recently.
i'm totally lost now...

my grandma was admitted to tan tong seng hospital, now in ICU.
she had been there for 5 days already.
at first doc say it's something like a stroke but till now still can't find the main reason of it yet.
the doc said there are 2 types of germs in her blood and that she had lung infection.
and now she's breathing through a oxygen tube and she can't talk...
doc will try taking out the tube and let her breathe herself, if she can, chances of recovering is higher, if it's the other way round, we got to be metally prepared for the worse..
when i see those tubes piercing through her skin, it really aches my heart.
my grandma already so old le, why must go through this kind of torture?
how can she endure all these?
everytime i see her fragile body lying on bed, and when she tried to talk but no voice came out,
refused to rest because she's afraid we will leave her alone,
grab my hand tightly for fear i return home,the tiredness in her eyes...
it feels as if a thousand knifes stabbing deep into my flesh.
i couldn't describe the feeling.
it hurts badly. i dunno wad can i do to help her...
i'm scared. really scared. i dun wanna lose her.
i can never take it.
i cried badly to see her lying on bed, with all kinds of tubes, getting endless injections for blood tests, tried to talk but simply no words came out.. you know how fucking sad it is to see someone so so dear to you become like tat all of a sudden?
on the day she was admitted to hospital, she was sleeping on her sofa, taking naps,
i dun wanna disturb her so left school without saying bye to her.
why is it so unfair?
i just can't bear to see her in this state.
my grandfather is the most xin ku of all.
he already so old. still make an effort to work, after tat visit grandma in hospital, return to work again and return to hospital at night, and he didn't get suffient sleep. i'm really worried for him too.
father and mother also tired already. mother got to do everything herself and father got to work without sleeping at all since he's in the hospital most of the time.
my aunt will be flying back to see grandma.
my 2 younger sisters cry like dunno wad since they know they were not up to helping out.

dear god.

please. i plead you. please help my grandma.
please bless her for full recovery. please watch over her.
please let her conditions become better. please let her stay with us.
i'm not asking for prosperity, good wealth and fortune or status of important people;
all i want is for everybody i know to be healthy and well, safe and sound.
tat's all i ever needed.
please bless my ah ma well again!
prays hard*

think tat will be all.
shall update when i'm free.

dun wanna lose you.never. ever.
i love you ah ma...='(

Amanda shouted @ 12:40 AM